come
back to my arms tonight
they’re as empty as the breaths I draw
listen closely to the drops that I’ve traced
on my face and my palms
whisper what we’d wish we forgot
bleed me to a newer fate.
they’re as empty as the breaths I draw
listen closely to the drops that I’ve traced
on my face and my palms
whisper what we’d wish we forgot
bleed me to a newer fate.
let this head rest on a muscle,
expand and collapse, and collapse and
collapse
be it a faint, fleeting desire
twisting your tendons against my strands
peck tenderly to conjure vivid dreams
reanimate all these nerves, suspire,
tonight.
be it a faint, fleeting desire
twisting your tendons against my strands
peck tenderly to conjure vivid dreams
reanimate all these nerves, suspire,
tonight.
allow me to retrace your collar bone
dreamlike,
the rise and fall in your ribs
the gentle thunder of your shoulders,
teases this jaw like harp strings
lay your cold feet on my broiled soles, tonight
and cease this cruel
expanse.
the gentle thunder of your shoulders,
teases this jaw like harp strings
lay your cold feet on my broiled soles, tonight
and cease this cruel
expanse.
)Interesting title. Is it sort of an echo of one of the reasons for why we feel the need to write and read poems: that some things seem to need a different 'language' than the one available to us in prose?
ReplyDeleteYour choice to use no capitals and very little punctuation lends a breathless, but hushed and trembling quality to the lines. Nicely complements the pleas made in the lines themselves. Also liked the way the indentation of the lines suggest the undulating curves of a body; the poem seems to unfold like the lover's body.
Aha, thanks for those observations, Nelson (:
DeleteThe title is in conversation with a few things I have in mind with respect to love and affection, especially how love doesn't have to have a language one's too familiar with. Besides that, it's also a reference to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru2Hh_GKPqc
The structure, as I tried, shows how thoughts would rush to someone longing for their beloved's company. So I view the length of each line wrt time, and so the words come out as they would while thinking of someone; sometimes instantly, sometimes with hesitation or a sense of defeat.
The poem itself representing a body is a total accident, though..
That's a great thought, Himanshu. And the video reference was interesting, though I admit i didn't get it completely, haha...
DeleteYour explanation for the indentation makes a lot of sense. Thanks!
The medical/ biological precision when talking about the lover's body, words like 'muscle', 'tendons' and lends an unsettling undertone to the poem. These words almost seem to contrast the typical words we expect to describe the body parts in a love poem, like "head", "collar bone", "arms".
ReplyDeleteThe visual form of the stanzas are also a very interesting choice.
Thank you for your words, Sreoshi (:
DeleteI'd just wanted to create a (almost) surreal and cerebral retelling of a lover's body, as anybody painfully missing their loved one would try and recollect. Though, imo, I feel I left out so much.