The first thing I did as soon as I
got the reading material was look up the essay by Wislawa Szymborska. I read
it. I reread it. A week later I found a book with her poems in the library and
that book has been with me ever since. I just want to thank you first for
introducing me to her work because that book has saved me at times, inspired me
when I was low, offered companionship when I thought I needed none. I know all this might sound cheesy but it is
what it is.
The first poem I wrote in this
course was called ‘Pink Crush’. The last poem I wrote in this course was ‘Four
dinosaurs lived in a nest’. As much as I hate confessing it to myself, all
poems of mine have been about loss. I do
not like seeing a pattern in my work but I guess that is the point of this
essay. I do not even like writing about loss or love for that matter. While writing
each of these poems, not even once I realized that I was writing about loss. In
fact, I took grave measures to not write about romantic idea of love or things
that make me sad. But I guess in recognizing what I do not want to write on I wrote
on those very themes.
I also had a habit of using alliteration and would use it
as and when the thought came. Now I am more careful of this habit. I think
about the form and what I want to say all the time. One of the feedback Akhil
gave me for my poems is that if a meaning can be conveyed in small number of
words then do that. I have recognized this thought process in so many of the novels
and poems that I admire, and it opens new ideas for me every time I re read the
work. This is another reason why the book of poems by Wislawa is still with me.
I have also taken this feedback for my writing. I have also become conscious of
the way enjambment works but my writing has been slow to incorporate this
recognition. I think I can see a process here.
One of the most enriching, joyous
process for writing a poem has been the process of writing a villanelle. I enjoyed
the hard work that I put in it. I detested the process of writing a ghazal. I think
I still need to work on it. I have tried working on it but it drains my energy to
work on a ghazal. I am not giving up on it. But I do recognize that I do not
like working on a ghazal. The most challenging part for me has been to write a
ghazal. I am going to take the challenge forward and submit the ghazal to Akhil
by mail in the holidays as I am under a lot of pressure right now. I found the
response poems to be a very difficult and enriching process. I enjoyed it as
well.
I liked working on the nonet too.
It was one of the most helpful experience as I struggle a lot with replacement
of words and lines. Basically, I find editing very hard. I can edit other’s
pieces. But I can never edit mine. In fact, I keep everything and keep on
adding more lines. While discussing prosody and nonet I could make a lot of
connections with my own work. I could come up with more logical and analytical solutions
as to why a particular word or line should be kept and why should they be
removed. The exercise of locating our
experiences while drawing that map of Delhi helped me writing what I wanted to
say through my city poetry and which place do I need to direct it to.
More than reading the poems on
the reading list, I was excited about reading the poems of my fellow
classmates. Reading their work has influenced mine. Everyone read differently
into other’s works and it was quite incredible to see everyone handle each
other’s work with kindness as well as sincerity. There have been times when I could
not make sense as to why I wrote a particular line, or why it should go here
and not there, but in times like this, someone has come with a better understanding
of the line in my poem and I felt understood. Editing each other’s work
was a fairly constructive process, but most importantly it was the poems that I
would be looking forward to on Wednesday that made me want to come to every
class. Believe it or not reading my classmates’ poem has made me see flaws in
my poems. I might not be able to express it very well right now but I am aware
that their poems have shaped up my critical abilities. It was again a very good
experience to listen to them on the poetry reading day where they read out
their own poems, some of which we had read. But the listening experience only
added on to my experience. It was one very good day.
I See Kashmir from New Delhi at Midnight by Agha Shahid Ali is one
of my favorite poems in the whole reading list.
However, I wish we could go outside
more and work on our poems. I must say that one of the most memorable
experience for me, my craft of poetry, my writing, my understanding has been
the excursion to Old Delhi Railway Junction. I wish we had more such
experiences where we could leave our immediate comfortable surroundings. I am
so glad that I could be part of that experience. I really liked the poems that
each one of us wrote that day. I just hope and wish we could have more of such
classes in future.
I am reading this book called Read
me at School. One of the poems that is on top of my head is this:
Poem about the injustice of Being Made to Stand
Outside in the Rain at Break-time
It’s
Not
Fair
-
Sue Hardy-Dawson
I guess the reason why its on top
of my head is also because I relate to the feeling. Its not fair that the
course ended so soon.
