Self reflective essay

I am from the history background. All I knew was the dates, events, reformations, wars, revolutions, successors, ect… I was just bounded with these kinds of words only. Taking crafting poems as a subject was like putting salt in a tasteless khichidi. For first time when I saw crafting poems as an elective option in the list, the very moment I decided to opt for this subject. I knew something good was about to come out. Writing was my hobby but I never took a class for writing poems so frankly speaking I didn’t know about the structure of writing poems at a high level. The villanelle poem, performative poem, city poem, about all these I came to know through this class only.  

Moving towards the poems which I have written throughout the course, the first one is the Ghazal with the title ‘hope’. So through this Ghazal I wanted to show that hope is the only thing which inspires one to move forward. To explain it in a better way I have given examples of nectar, like how being just a small bird it flies all over to south in search of food, jobless person never losing his hope struggles everyday just to get what he wants and deserve, the struggle of a homeless, another example I have taken is from the people who lost lives because of the terrorist, despite of terror they live in a hope that they will have happy day one day. Its just that we need to understand  the value of hope as it is a ray of life to many people. Hope can even give life to dead.

The political poem with the title ‘2AM’  is a small poem which totally focus on the women’s safety. It’s like a narrative story, I am the one who goes out at 2 am at night hearing about the horrible events which takes place with girls. Luckily I was safe, but the only thought which came to my mind was why can’t nights be like this night for every girl? Why night terrifies? Why can’t be darkness taken in a positive way?

Indus to Yamuna the City Poetry is actually written through my own experience. Indus flows in Ladakh while Yamuna in Delhi. Through this poem I have just tried to bring out my experience with this shift from Ladakh to Delhi. I have tried to mention how clean, peaceful and fresh Ladakh is as compared to Delhi with reference to the rivers flowing through both the cities.

Coming to the Love poetry ‘This was her only love story’. This is actually my own story; I just wanted to bring out my own feelings through this poem. Through this I have shown how ones if a trust is broken then it could be never mended up.

The  Independent poem with the title ‘beauty of life’ explains about the life, life of any kind. The first Para mentions about the despairs which we go through in life the darkness, the unfulfilled desires, the provoked, the denied which make us feel lonely and unwanted. But the second Para inspires us to come over from these unpleasant things. It shows that with every darkness it indicates that the light is about to come. Again the third para inspires us achieve high it tells us to overcome from the sadness and depression rather than making it dominate us. At the end in one sentence I have explained about the beauty of life by comparing it with the garden full of tulips.

The second Independent poem is with the title ‘The distant smile’ I was walking through the path of select city mall when I saw a distant smile, a heart stealing smile. In this poem I have just explained about the feeling which caught me while seeing that smile. The happiness, the warmth, the feeling which can’t be expressed through just words.

The villanelle poem. Here I have described about the pizza boy. I was being so enthusiastic to have my Margarita Pizza. I had ordered it but when the time came to eat it, I suddenly got a call saying that my pizza has been cancel. All my enthusiasm finished. The pizza boy being the best man became the reason for my despire.

He says I am beautiful, I say ‘I am not’ is the third Independent poem. It’s the feeling of a girl who thinks she is not beautiful because she is dark. She feels that she is not THE ONE for the guy she loves. But the guy proves her wrong. Through his gesture, though his emotions, through his words, he tells her that she is not the beautiful rather she is so perfect to be beautiful.

The fourth Independent poem, ‘you dream you achieve’  is again as inspirational poem written up to explain that it’s not necessary that all your dream will come true but it’s is necessary to dream and try your best to achieve it.

‘I don’t speak english’ To write this Performative poem it was like a huge task for me.  So finally I took the story of my friend who is from Hindi background and was very disappointed when he first went to college. At first he couldn’t speak a line in English. It was not like he didn’t know English but somehow he couldn’t speak it up. Now it has been 6 years since the first day to college. and now he have cleared MP PCS, and now he is trying for IAS. And so now when someone asks how you did it? All he says is that ‘language is not important knowledge is important and I am not at all ashamed of saying that yes before 6 years I couldn’t speak a single line in English. The only thing is I never took it as my weakness rather I always thought that somehow I need to come up with it. So we should not just stop. Just try’. I have just tried to explain his life through the poem.

For the response to Nitoo Das poem ‘The poetry of everyday life’, I have chosen The wallet, pressure cooker and the writing pad.

The second response is for Nitoo Das poem How to cut a fish. For this I have written ‘How to bake a cake’ I choose it may be because I just know how to bake a cake. And in fact I found the procedure of making cake to be very interesting. I have written the poem in such a way that I have compared the procedure with the nature.

How to bake a cake

Assemble the ingredients first,

You may never know when time will ditch you,

One extra minute and there you are left with a tasteless cake.

2 cups Maida and 2 teaspoons of baking powder,

Mix them till the time they fall in love, this is the first step

Secondly break 3 eggs and stir them so hard that they may appear like water to you.

There! The coco powder and the chocolate syrup is waiting for you to add them too,

Mix all the three steps with milk one by one in a big bowl,

Big enough to handle all the taste you want,

Get rid of those lumps; stir it till you get a proper paste.

Finally it’s ready to get baked.

Put the mixture in a dry cake cup,

But first apply oil and Maida inside the cup so that your cake won’t stick to the cup.

There you go putting the cup in oven with 100 degrees Celsius is the final step.

Keep a check on your cake so that it may not get burnt.

Slowly when you see the cake is baked properly,

Forget not to check with a needle by putting it in the cake,

 So that we may know the cake has been baked properly or not.

Response to nitoo das poem- The poetry of Everday life

Wallet

Ouch.. It hurts when you sit on me,

But without me you are nothing.

I have everything what you need daily,

I engage with all your ATM’s, i-cards and important papers.

When I am with you, you have an identity,

Otherwise you would be thrown out of the territory.

Preasure cooker

They say I am boast,

But I am the one who fulfils your wishes.

I am not silent, I am not sober,

I am loud and I am fat,

But I care for you the most.

Writing pad

Stick me where you want,

I won’t utter a word.

I am your reminder; I am your booster,

I am cheap and I am handy.

I am available at all the stationeries,

Pick me up, i am red i am yellow I am white I am in all colours.

i dont speak English

It was for the first time when Deep came to the city for his higher studies,

Deep ! a village boy! With higher dreams, with higher hopes,

Looked upon the city as the key to achieve his goals.

According to his plan things were going on,

Till the time he entered the college for the first day all alone,

Hindu college, being one of the leading college of DU,

With determination all he was focused was to make his dreams come true.

But the very first thing he noticed was the language spoken by the people,

All he came to know was English was the only way to mingle.

Deep did all his studies in Hindi medium, all he knew was to speak hindhi,

Understanding English was enough he supposed,

Soon he realised he was wrong just to suppose,

Full of knowledge he was,

But none noticed or pause,

All looked for English speaking friends,

Forgetting about the fact that only words can’t be uttered without knowledge,

10 years passed….

Gone are the college days gone are the struggling phase,

Its time for a reunion, a time to meet, a time to retreat, a time to discover new opinion.

And there comes Deep, he is no longer Deep,

He is now IAS Deep and English was his only pitch.

People wondered is this the same Deep whom we ditched.

A time was there when Deep was rejected, now is the time when by everyone he was selected.

During his speech the only line which toughed everyone’s heart was,

Insan ko bhasha se nahi karam se pehchana jata h.

( A person should be known through his values not through his language,)

you dream, you achieve

Do dreams come true?
every time i think about it,
a deep thought i go through,
leaving me with a sack of questions and solutions just a few.

what do you wish to get?
where do you want to stand at?
with a cheerful mind and with no regrets,
tough or easy you want to go through it yet,

if you dream and if you want to make it real,
there's no one on this earth to stop you or at you who would yell,

you dream, you achieve,you dream you achieve,
don't stop dreaming, it is the first step to reach high,
work on it until you achieve it, to your heart you just tie,
nothing is impossible remember it till you die,

you reap what you did sow,
no stopping your heart, a big "NO",
end won't be reached you would be always left with....
yeah! there's still a long way to go..

He says "I am Beautiful", I say I am not.

He says "I am Beautiful",

                                I say I am not.

I say that I am not worthy of him,

But still he holds my hand in public.

Others stare as if he is going along with an unusual human being,

But he has that handsome smile over his face "irresistible" answering them back.

I see this lean, fair girl passing by,

I wonder why am I nothing like her?

But there he comes and just ruffles my not so Perfect hair, with a promise.

I try and fit all those Perfect Girls for him in all our snaps replacing me,

With tears in my eyes;

But there he is, clicking more of us and deleting none.

Clubbing with him, finding girls buzzing around him,

Thinking of me as his 'just a friend';

Holding that glass in my hand I wonder why is he with me?

Well again, he takes me to the dance floor and dances on my favourite number.

He holds "me" right infront of everyone,

He embraces "me" when am in doubt,

He smiles and somehow takes it all away,

He dances on "my" favourite song,

He intertwines his fingers with "mine",

He likes it when he snaps it with "me".

Am still in doubt!

I am not even near to being perfect,

I am not lean and I am not pretty,

Then what is it that he wants?

Will he hurt me like others did?

Is it just for fun or forever?

I think and re-think;

He holds me from the back,

I say it again,"I am not beautiful"

And there he is holding me, staring in my eyes and saying, "You are way too perfect to be called Beautiful"

pizza

A Margarita pizza with extra oreganos

That’s the love of my life; I called Dominos and orders the mouth watering margarita.

Do you need extra cheese ma’am? He asked

Extra cheese would be like adding pearl to a plain ring.

The order was completed, I hung up the phone

Now all I had to wait was for 30 minutes.

I was waiting for my pizza like the earth waits for the falling star to rest on it.

Tring tring! My phone rang; it was above 30 minutes by then,

I was ready with my address to take my free pizza,

On the call with a heavy voice he spoke,

Sorry ma’am our server got down so we couldn’t place your order could you please repeat the order.

There I was left like a autumn tree, full of branches but with no single leaf on it, dishearten, broken, speechless and leafless.

The Distant Smile

Below the clear dark blue roof

Where life was rushing aloof

Day felt as hot as cake in an oven,

By the wind all the clouds were far off driven.

There among the flock,

An unrealistic juncture stuck my clock,

Where among the crowd there was a distant smile,

A smile which just touched my heart and not just for a while.

I walked closer to the heart stealing smile,

Waves of miracle rushed through my soul,

Apparently it gave me a happy moment with a mesmerizing goal,

A smile which I wanted to make all mine and for me it had to play a greater role.

Clouds of thought rushed to my mind about the priceless smile i had met,

I couldn't make it all mine but never do I regret.

Beauty of life

 When higher above the sky becomes darker,

When life within you feels encumbered by desire and anger,

When your  surrounding gets provoked and disturbed,

Within you the harmony gets removed and denied,

Not descending yourself low below the sea,

Uncovered opening up your eyes you see,

Sky is excessively clearer above the shaded cloud,

Bright side is always awaiting for you more greener with no drought,

With bigger dreams, with higher goals you live,

Fly for your smile and who needs it to them the smile you give,

Why to waste time on slush when it could be dried up with a wave of breath,

Love endlessly for love only spreads love and not wrath,

The problems are smaller but inside you scrabble,

For a moment take a pause and peace you do assemble,

Regain the beauty of life, for sooner or later the phase will pass with time,

Throw the stress aside for you are stronger than the waves of ocean at every line.

World is prettier than the garden full of tulips, you just need to feel the beauty of life,

 and that smile of yours is very precious and don’t let anyone to make you feel low.

This was her only love story

Among the crowd, there was a heart like a drought,

with a lot of noise outside but silence inside,

plenty of faces at side but blind at sight,

in search of love her heart flew like a dove.

oh! her heart, oh! her soul,

the love of her life had a very small role,

with less togetherness and with little hope,

it all sat like a lifeless rope,

she had dreamed a life with him,

full of care and love they grew,

sharing all precious time together,

just love and no place for hatred rather,

the dream was sweet and precious for her,

but he went too far and was no longer near,

she waited for him all alone,

days and weeks passed so long,

she was alone with a heart broken,

with no joy and happiness to be spoken,

but then he came back to her,

after hurting a lot he was back without any fear,

she knew soon he would go back,

again leaving her with sadness full of sack,

so she uttered it was better for both,

to leave each other's heart before any growth.

and in the end this was her only love story, this was her only love story.

Indus to Yamuna

They say change is the key.

From a  small place near  Indus valley,

Spending most of the vacation with natures beauty,

Building up a close relation with gods beautiful artistry,

With no worries and despire a world of peace and certainty.

To a place full of noises,

Yet no one to hear out your crises,

A place where you can learn and grow,

But to appreciate you’ll find none in the flow.

I ask myself is change really the key,

Or just an assumption made by me!

2AM

People warned me not to go out at night,

I was taught night life is not my right,

But one day I just left out at 2 am

To discover the difference between 2 am and 2 pm

I was scared as well as curious

But to my surprise nothing was there to be furious

I came back and was calm

The only thought that came to my mind

Was why for everyone 2am are not like this kind?

Hope

Nectar flies south in search of food. What is it if it’s not hope?

Jobless goes street to street to find something good. What is it if it’s not hope?  

   

The homeless could hardly manage two time meal

Yet! With every sunrise with bare feet they go for their feet to peal

What is it if it’s not hope?

The Killing of innocent didn’t stop nor did they leave their home

There are still few who beliefs in giving life more than taking any form

What is it if it's not hope?

Hope is a great weapon,

When you fall you stood up;

what is it if it’s not hope?

What is it if it’s not hope?