How to get ready for a date

Treat it like a performance
you got to play your part.
Make sure
you take a longer bath.
Scented soaps, scented sprays
a neat and tidy bun
no hair astray.
A skirt above the knee
a lacy prickly bra
Hide that zit!
It won't take you far.
Conceal the razor cuts
and you're good to go.
No, not that red a lipstick
you'd look like a whore.
Practice your smile
don't make it too wide.
And DO NOT forget pepper spray
it's late in the night.