The land shows promises
From a far and near,
To pursue and chase,
Dreams to fulfill.
So much with hope
Thus set her foot.
Alas, she feels insecure,
Unease, frail and vulnerable.
Lo! She fails to possess
The face of that city.
Feel so alienated
Bearing those cheeky smile
The city offers her.
Yes, she demands nothing.
But little of love, respect
With ever welcoming smile.
Lo! She finds none.
Still holding a back
With a longing heart.
Hoping someday, somewhere
For a better change
She continue to pursue.
Dear D Adaphro,
ReplyDeleteFrom the six poems that I have read of yours, I sense that you remain with the general and the abstract. I would recommend talking about the specifics. Giving us details. Drawing from experience and letting that experience be present in those poems, not just the feeling that those experiences leave you with. Weigh the specific and the general and then a good poem will come. Don't be afraid of talking about personal experiences. Also, an economy of words is required. Try and avoid verbosity. Or any kind of grandiloquence.
She continues to pursue
Despite insecurity
which hurts like jagged glass
despite trying and failing
to possess the face
of this city, despite
eating in the steel
bowls of alienation
and dealing with the cheeky
that the city throws at her,
she demands nothing but
the givens the world over,
what do you call it, love,
and, wait for it, respect too.
Is it too much to ask?
She continues to pursue.