Words from Hauskhas,
climbed up the escalator.
Tried not to get undermined
by the announcement.
Recharge almost costed
a fortune.
Saved myself
from getting stuck,
between the doors.
Clinged to the pole
as tight as I could.
Pushed me,
Judged me,
took a toll.
Meeting you was a dream,
So I had to stand tall!
I made it,
I waited.
It took me years
to realise,
you never boarded
from Pitampura
ever at all.
-Shakti
climbed up the escalator.
Tried not to get undermined
by the announcement.
Recharge almost costed
a fortune.
Saved myself
from getting stuck,
between the doors.
Clinged to the pole
as tight as I could.
Pushed me,
Judged me,
took a toll.
Meeting you was a dream,
So I had to stand tall!
I made it,
I waited.
It took me years
to realise,
you never boarded
from Pitampura
ever at all.
-Shakti
The mood you tried creating is clear. Could you change the word "recharge" because we usually recharge the cards not the tokens. I am assuming he bought the token? Also, the girl boarded from Pitampura; please unpack, verna it looks like name of any other place.
ReplyDeleteUmmm I didn't get it..are you linking tokens to the fortune? otherwise if you read the second stanza, you'll know its more like fallimg in monotony things (travelling on daily basis and hence a card) What I meant was like every day the person had to gather the same charge/strength to face it. Infact I was also a bit sceptical about using he/she or the girl or boy directly, unpacking just exposes it to hetero-normativity. I will surely reconsider your suggestions while discussing it with professor.
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