Everything I Am Now

I am now a bundle - 

a bundle of burnt matchsticks

and unused condoms.

I am remnants of lovers 

who didn't kiss me goodbye

I am now the songs I didn't sing 

for ears that were listening.

I am now the tears that hide 

under my pillows till the alarm clock sniggers

at the dormancy of my dreams

and abuses erased by selective amnesia. 

I am the the calls I never returned

and the flights I took to all the cities

to save a love from drowning in alcohol.

I am the cheesecakes I baked

to win back the love I lost to insecurity,

through the stomachs of his friends

I am the lies I glued to the last page of my notebooks

all because my heart couldn't decide

which part of my body needed more blood.

I am them all,
I am all my mistakes
Wed in a bundle,
waiting to undone and re-distributed
to all those who should've loved me better.