I click
on your name
on a broken mobile.
Cracks, on screens
How I hate them!
Later,
when you snatched away
your eyes from mine,
the morning after,
I wondered
if all this while
the ruptures
were all you.
on your name
on a broken mobile.
Cracks, on screens
How I hate them!
Later,
when you snatched away
your eyes from mine,
the morning after,
I wondered
if all this while
the ruptures
were all you.
This reminds of Carol Ann Duff's 'Text'.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. Will have a look at it.
DeleteJust thinking of how it can be made sharper. How that sense of being abandoned by somebody 'the morning after' can hit us hard. Try this?
ReplyDeleteCracks
I touch
your name
the mobile screen
cracks
it is that morning
again
when
you snatched my eyes
Thank you for your suggestion. The sense I intended waw not that the screen cracks when I click on your name, but that there already are cracks, I always thought it's on the phone screen.
DeleteHowever, I will try working the idea on the structure you gave.