Too done with this

Too done with this 

The time when it all began

I had the feeling of this time being the best.

I took my first step. I ran.  

It was innocent for all I can think of. It was a zing.  

But to sum up what we had was nothing more than child's play.  

Pretty easy to say that it was a mere display                                                                                                                      Of affection,                                                                                                                                                           

something that felt good. It built my confidence. 

Ok. Alright. It was easier then.  

I was still learning. Experiencing. 

Figuring out the what, how and when.  

Very impulsively did I walk Out.  

We were friends even after that and we still talk.                                                                                                        

It's cool whatever happened.                                                                                                                                  

Friendly feelings are true now and as white as a piece of chalk. 

I am done with this 

  

Skipping ahead with all the time I had

Coping up with the new curriculum, things got tough.

Marks got bad.  

Aah those dreadful sums.  Fuck you to date.  

Two years later, got to know this girl. The sister of a mate. 

Gosh she was pretty.  

One year in and everything with you was shitty.  

It was the long distance, for God's sake why? 

The love was warm and wet and fresh The space between us got dry.  

You cheated.                                                                                                                                                                            A big WHY?                                                                                                                                                                      

Were you done? 

I had been a foolish child in one.  But never felt defeated.  

This was easier to let go.  

Get out was my gesture for you.  

Baah humbug. Never mind, I won't make the same mistake again.  

Glad, I am soo done with this

Exactly a year later.  I met another girl.  

Ohh the way she spoke and all that chitter chatter 

Was enough to make my toes curl.  

We made contact, strangely slow but fast too.  

And soon enough all smooth moves were made to woo  

Her.  

We became immensely comfortable pretty soon.  

Our affection was off the charts, our love bloomed.  

It got really hard for me to articulate how I felt and what I went through with you by my side.  

It was a better version of love. A better guide.                                                                                                           More mature with a hint of childishness.  

Of course, the things with you were light and dark 

But ain't as easy as a walk in the park.  

I'm still thirsty. I'm still not done with you.  

Exploring something new each day 

Some too much, some little and few. 

Even though you'll eventually read this Or probably won't 

These are mere raw words, a list.  

One shouldn't read much into this. Don't. 

I don't know what's next. It's been 4 years. 

With the worst and the best 

Of you. Of us. With you. 

No matter how our ends meet, I'd like you to stay...a little longer.  

As they say that our fight won't be easy. We know.                                                                                                  Love, we ought to become stronger.   

Coz even after all of this  Loyalty, understanding, commitment, and love. We can't be.                                            Each other is something we can't have.                                                                                                                              

I won't behave.  

But I might not act out 

Coz I'll be too done with this.  

                                                    - Shayan Rahman